Don’t have to be a genius to laugh at these

According to the American Mensa website, Mensa was founded in 1946 as an international society of people who score in the top 2 percent of the general population on standard intelligence tests. 

You can check your own IQ on-line for free here, to see if Mensa would take you…. (only put in a credit card number for the “full” results.  They’ll send your basic number through the e-mail free).

 

Fortunately you don’t have to be a genius to laugh at these.  Enjoy…

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
 
Here are the winners:
 
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
 
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
 
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
 
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
 
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
 
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
 
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
 
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.
 
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
 
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
 
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s
like, a serious bummer.
 
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
 
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

 
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
 


15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
 
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
 
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you’re eating.
 
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words.
 
And the winners are:
 
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
 
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
 
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
 
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
 
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
 
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only
a nightgown.
 
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
 
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
 
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.
 
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
 
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
 
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
 
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
 
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
 
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
 
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men

 

 

 



Advertisements

5 Responses to Don’t have to be a genius to laugh at these

  1. Kathy says:

    Thanks.. that was a fun read. 🙂

  2. Albert says:

    Hiya!. Thanks for the blog. I’ve been digging around looking some info up for shool, but i think i’m getting lost!. Yahoo lead me here – good for you i suppose! Keep up the great information. I will be popping back over in a couple of days to see if there is any more info.

    • lynette77 says:

      Welcome. Glad you found me. I’ve been taking a break over the holidays, but if there is anything in particular you’d like more info on, let me know and I’ll see what I can find.
      ~L

  3. I extremely enjoyed this! I would have to say this is an extremely informative post that needs mentioning elsewhere.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: